


don't let it consume me (unless i am brought closer to you)

by flintwoodandco



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Era, Denial of Feelings, Emotions, Fear, Gen, Growing Up, Hogwarts, M/M, Minor Character Death, Timeline What Timeline, adrian is the same age as marcus i mean oops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-05 10:37:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11576346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flintwoodandco/pseuds/flintwoodandco
Summary: Marcus knows he and happiness do not go hand in hand





	don't let it consume me (unless i am brought closer to you)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [provocative_envy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/provocative_envy/gifts).



Marcus thinks happiness is in his mother’s arms. The way she holds him coupled with a look of admiration, Marcus knows there is no better place. He is a proud boy, showing off his growing magic and he giggles when his mother smiles.

...

In a single heartbeat, his mother is snatched away and Marcus cries. Because happiness shouldn’t hurt like this. The comfort around him is stale, broken, and he decides to never be happy again.

...

When he receives his letter to Hogwarts, he calls it anticipation. He knew he was going there anyway, a simple piece of paper is not going to change his mind. 

Glancing up at his mother’s portrait in the hall, he doesn’t smile when her painted face does.

...

The flurry of Hogwarts makes Marcus sick to his stomach. There is too much noise, too many students. He feels lost in the shuffle and he isolates himself in the corner of the common room. He curls into himself when a boy his age approaches, sandy hair and curiosity sparkling in his eyes. 

The boy introduces himself as Adrian and Marcus doesn’t reply. With a shrug, the boy sits down near Marcus, talking excitedly about the quidditch team and classes they may have together. By the time the evening is over, Marcus’ first smile of the day appears.

He calls the emotion belonging.

...

From flying lessons to quidditch games, Marcus tries out for the team the first chance he gets. He stands up tall amongst the hesitant stares, ignoring the small whispers. When Adrian comes up right besides him, Marcus can’t help his proud grin and after the captain mutters something about second years, they allow the boys to try out. 

The shocked faces of the team and the sense of accomplishment afterwards mean the world to Marcus. With Adrian besides him, Marcus knows they’ll be unstoppable. 

He is excited and that’s as far as he lets his mind go.

...

The new Gryffindor keeper is almost laughable with his small stature and body that’s starting to play catch-up. Marcus shoves past him before a game, letting him know who really owns the pitch. He sneers at the glare he gets, knowing he’s got some competition laid out for him. It’s a fascinating prospect and he doesn’t realize he’s staring at the keeper until Adrian gives him a harsh shove to get his head back into the game.

...

For years, this goes on. Marcus shoving past Oliver and Oliver returning with a glare or a choice comment. It stings, but Marcus finds he likes the attention more than anything. It doesn’t take much to make Oliver look at him. 

At night, Marcus wonders why it’s such a thrill since everyone’s looking at him during quidditch games. Perhaps it’s because of the singular focus, or maybe, there’s moments when Oliver’s glare isn’t just that.

Adrian finds it ridiculous, but Marcus is sure he’s seen interest and questioning mixed with the anger. Something that goes beyond their simple rivalry. 

There’s also a secret. One Marcus will never spill to Adrian. 

In Oliver’s eyes, Marcus senses a softness that reminds him of his mother’s affection. Marcus wants it to swallow him whole, but he would never try move closer to Oliver than he already is. 

He’s given his heart a chance, now he needs to protect it, no matter the costs. 

...

There is the start of a cool summer breeze when Marcus walks onto the pitch late one night. He is both angry and relieved at having to repeat another year, the thought of playing against Oliver one more time dominating over all else.

He turns at the sounds of footsteps, watching as the boy in question keeps his distance, yet lingers near. Marcus’ heart thumps in his chest and he swallows down the thickness in his throat. An old feeling pushed to the side for years is threatening its way out. 

Oliver starts the conversation, slow and hesitant, asking about Marcus’ plans after Hogwarts. Marcus can’t help blurting that he’s repeating another year and Oliver’s expressions almost make him laugh. 

Finally, Oliver nods as if he understands, leaving Marcus to shrug and do little else. He can’t come up with a logical explanation as to why Oliver is out here, as if keeping him company. 

Adrian is the one to do that, not someone that Marcus has put up every barrier to. 

Letting out a shaky breath, Oliver takes a step closer to Marcus, his eyes avoiding in a way that reminds Marcus too much of himself. With Oliver stumbling over his words, Marcus thinks he knows what’s coming and a part of him wants to stop it. 

Oliver deserves better. 

Marcus can’t think of anything to warrant Oliver liking him. He’s Marcus Flint. A good-for-nothing troll that refuses to feel anything beyond brutish emotions. 

While Marcus believes he’s only thought this to himself, Oliver’s gaze snaps up to him, his eyebrows furrowed. Oliver shakes his head, his words gaining volume as he tells Marcus he’s wrong. Marcus freezes when Oliver grabs his wrist, encouragement pouring out of his mouth. Telling Marcus he’s passionate, a fantastic quidditch player (when he follows the rules), and that underneath it all, he’s human. 

A mixture of a blush and a prickling sensation at the back of his eyes is all Marcus can feel. He focuses on Oliver’s gaze, his heart falling, falling as Oliver edges closer. A faint whisper, Oliver saying he wouldn’t be here otherwise, reaches Marcus’ ears before a soft breath hits his lips. 

Marcus’ eyes search the face in front of his, looking for answers and wanting none. All he can see is warmth, open arms, as he and Oliver close in.

Marcus sighs into Oliver’s mouth, taking in all that is the Gryffindor keeper. Oliver’s tracing fingers are still on his wrist, the press of his lips firm. Marcus doesn’t dare open his eyes, for fear of it all being a dream and he lifts his hand slowly to grab Oliver’s other one. 

Intertwining their fingers together, the kiss stops for a moment and Marcus almost whines at the loss of contact. 

Oliver glances down at their hands, a small laugh filling the air before he looks back at Marcus. Marcus’ shell cracks in that instant, the emotion engulfing all of his body, and Marcus feels lighter than air. He allows himself to smile back, dropping their hands in favor of pulling Oliver into a hug. 

It’s been too long. 

Marcus begins to realize how much he’s been depriving himself and that every good thing in his life deserved more than he gave it. 

He doesn’t stop the tears that fall down his face, shaking his head when Oliver pulls back with a concerned look. Through his crying, Marcus manages to tell Oliver that everything is fine. 

Admitting his feelings is harder than anything else he’s done in his life, but when Marcus tells Oliver he’s happy, the bright expression he gets in return makes it all worth it.

...

The moment Marcus returns home for the summer, he pauses in front of his mother’s portrait. He can’t remember the last time he really looked at it, sighing just a little at the memories of her. The portrait greets him with a soft gaze, the corners of her mouth turning up just a little as if she is hesitant of Marcus’ reaction. 

Pushing down the swarm of anxiousness, Marcus straightens himself up and for the first time in years, he gives her a genuine smile back.

**Author's Note:**

> HIPPY BATHDAY FRIEND
> 
> i take prompts too literally can you tell
> 
>  
> 
> [Tumblr](http://flintwoodandco.tumblr.com)


End file.
